The former Major League Baseball player Jose Canseco broke up with his girlfriend on Twitter. Photograph: Susan Walsh/APThe former Major League Baseball star Jose Canseco has been indulging in a very public meltdown on Twitter, reports NBC, breaking up with long-term girlfriend Leila Shennib and then using the medium to try and find someone new, all in short, often badly spelt sentences ...
The pair had been dating for almost two years when Shennib said she broke up with the player, who famously published a book claiming 85% of major league players took steroids. The break-up occurring after he "did [her] dirty" – a reference to specific events she did not wish to reveal further.
Canesco was angry and in now-deleted tweets got it off his chest, beginning with: "Be careful with woman who show off there tits and ass and think that's a career," moving on to: "I will never forget or forgive what u said to me leila ur evil," before posting her telephone number, prompting a considerable number of hate messages from fans.
Inevitably there was also philosophy: "love makes fools out of all us especially me"; desperation: "Leila will you marry me please" and finally pity: "I made a total fool of myself for someone who never even cared about me. what an idiot I am."
But like any love-sick teenager he soon bounced back and as a pro-athlete he managed it without a protracted period locked in his bedroom weeping to a soundtrack of the Smiths and Joy Division either: "Would love to meet a nice holesome midwest girl here in chicago. We play tomorrow night at 7 pm in zion if anyone is out there for me."
Sadly, there appear to have been few responses as soon after @ashleyarizona, a female twitterer, announced to her followers that she had been messaged by Canseco: "lmao [laughing my ass off] jose canseco hit on me via DM." Fortunately she took a screen-grab as an example Canseco himself may wish to consult on just where he is going wrong with the ladies. "Ur hot baby" it read.
Florida's Sun-Sentinel reports that Miami Heat's Dwayne Wade has received an intriguing job proposal, as the NBA lockout continues, an offer of the chance to switch baskets for buckets.
Wade had tweeted "Any 1 hiring?" when the lock out became official, prompting Kentucky Fried Chicken general manager John Cywinski to offer him a job. The fast-food chain said it would donate $250,000 to its Colonel's Scholars education programme in Wade's name if he agreed to work at a local KFC drive-thru window. Wade had previously worked at one of the company's restaurants in Chicago as a teenager.
"We couldn't help but notice your recent tweet about looking for a new line of work in light of the lockout," Cywinski's letter said. "We're always looking for folks with precisely your qualifications – initiative, teamwork and the ability to make buckets in a hurry."
"We've always been proud to call you a former KFC employee and, it goes without saying we'd love to have you back on our team dishing out the World's Best Chicken, like you dish out assists on the court."
Wade has yet to reveal whether he will make his reacquaintance with the colonels' secret recipe or not.
The celebrations in Dallas after the Mavericks clinched the NBA Championship seem destined never to be forgotten, literally in one case as a fan's find idle promises came back to haunt him. In the case of Derek Dilday, in tattooist's ink. On his arse.
"Once they got to the finals, especially against the Miami Heat, I may have got a little too excited and posted on Facebook that I would get Dirk Nowitzki's face tatted on my ass if they won it all," he told the Dallas Observer.
"When Dirk lifted the Larry O'Brien and the MVP trophy it was the greatest sports moment of my life. I sports-cried, called a high school friend that does tattoos and have been on a Dallas Mavericks championship high ever since," he continued.
The Observer headed the piece with the descriptive and amusing headline: "Why I Got This Tattoo of Dirk Nowitzki On My Ass (As If It's Not Obvious)" accompanied it with a picture of Nowitzki's face disarmingly looming out of a right buttock and closed, gloriously with Dilday's own cheerful sign-off: "Now I realise that I will be sitting on a big German man's face for the rest of my life."
A fairytale start for Thomas Bjorn at the Open created the potential for an extraordinary comeback story. One, it seems, that the media believed was not going to last. How else to explain headline writers across the world all using their bankers after only one day's play?
"Bjorn Again!" trumpeted big bold letters in papers from Belfast to Sydney and Glasgow to Los Angeles and Auckland, as sports editors made the best of an opportunity that comes only with a Thomas or a Borg. With the latter now 55 years old, they dutifully flung the big typeface at Thomas with gleeful abandon.
With two exceptions. Congratulations to the Vancouver Sun for going with "Bjorn Supremacy". And, intriguingly, to the Danish press where, consumed by the Tour de France, Bjorn was barely to be seen at all. Instead, Ekstra Bladet went for drama and theatre, perhaps in a bid to pull in cycling fans put off by golf's staid image, announcing: "Bjorn takes revenge on cursed hole."
The USA beat Brazil on penalties in a nail-biting quarter-final this week on their way to tomorrow's Women's World Cup final, but far from turning on their defeated side, some of the Brazilian press took an upbeat angle after the game.
Under the headline "The Beauty who once again stopped Brazil" O Globo waxed lyrical about US goalkeeper Hope Solo. She was the "beautiful green-eyed goalie who has charmed journalists," said the paper alongside a fulsome profile.
Journo do Brasil joined in, explaining that although Solo was "one of the reasons for the Brazilian's departure from the Women's World Cup," she also "charmed everyone on Twitter, not so much for her talent in goal, but mainly for her beauty. Even the Brazilians could not get angry with the goalie."
Indeed, the hashtag #goleiraeualinda, or "beautiful American goalie" was the No1 topic on Twitter in Brazil at the time and, although Journo did note that Daiane Menezes Rodrigues, who scored an own goal and missed a penalty, may be the villain of the piece, the fans had already adopted a new hero. "Hi Solo, my name is Bruno, live in Brazil. Marry me? Goalkeeper beautiful! Go United States!" enthused one new convert.
Goalkeeper Manuel Neuer received a hostile welcome from five Bayern Munich fan groups, who were incensed at their side signing a player who was not only playing for, but is also a self-confessed fan of, arch-rivals Schalke 04, reports Bild.
Last week Neuer met the groups involved in an attempt to find a way forward. The details of what was discussed have not been made clear, but Bayern's chief executive Karl-Heinz Rummenigge was unimpressed, saying he has run out of patience with the fans. President Uli Hoeness, meanwhile, looked to play down the situation: "I think it does not make much sense to shout one's mouth off. I think most fans have grasped what is at stake."
The fans later released a statement, which may point to a calmer future. "If Manuel Neuer observes the rules of conduct and maintains a respectful distance [from us], there will be no more organised demonstrations against him."
Follow Giles Richards on Twitter: @giles_richards
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